Keith ♥ Riiko

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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Hmmm.. my 1st blog here.. But ain't a happi one..

I m feeling so dam depress recently.. I always tot, so long as i love her, so long as she's mine..
I will never ever think of giving up on changing her.. I was wrg.. Nothing change.. Things gotten worst.. I gets more n more impatience till the extend of being VIOLENCE..

All cos of.. we haf been tgt for 9 mths. she nbr stop lying to mi b4! Nbr keep ani promises! And.. Still doing bitchy stuff behind mi! Am i suppose to blame myself? I shld haf stop our rlt frm going on during our 3rd mths.. but I LOVE HER .. I dunno hw to give up on her.. Once.. i rmb this very once.. Whereby i m so darn serious in breaking up with her.. She came crying to mi a whole nite.. cos i leave her? or cos sumone else made her sad? i dunno.. Why sae so? (Cos.. this girl i love ever call mi n blame mi for stuff n start crying saying i made her cry.. But.. actually is cos of "sumone" doesn't wanna talk to her.. she's sad.. It's not mi..) Since den.. i nbr wanna broke her heart.. Ebritym she did sumting.. I tolerate it.. Thou we quarrel.. but i still haf to let the thingy past..

After long, frm simple scaring her turns to hitting her.. 1st, i cant take it animore.. It's too much to bear.. The lies n warteva she do behind mi.. 2nd, She once did mi wrg.. Yet gib mi a SLAP for i quarrel with her.. She throw things i buy for her n run away.. N tat was the 1st tym I hit her with strength.. A returning slap.. My losing of control started this wae..

Warteva her doings.. if i wld to state it all out.. its sure gonna take years.. Haiz.. Saying tat she love mi.. But why is she always doing things not right.. Ebritym sumting went wrg.. She wld sae break.. If u love a person.. in the 1st place.. wld u do her wrg? NO.. Wld u keep wan a break up? NO.. I told her.. i was wrg to hit her.. she sae i dun love her.. if i love her, i wun hit her.. But does she knows.. It's cos she meant too much to mi, i cannot afford to lose her.. Cannot tolerate her doings animore.. But she is still doing without ani hesitation..

All i know is i owned her physically oni.. her heart is not with mi.. After 9 mths, still cos of a same person.. whom 3 mths ago she stop contacting.. I just couldn't win her over.. I'm really tired.. Even thou, i ain't going to gib up on her.. I dunno wart to do.. Wart make her feel tat i dun love her enuff? Why m i letting her torture mi this wae if i dun. Why dun i just gib her a gd kik n get out of my life?

Seriously.. Sry for this whole dam long dunno wart i writing blog.. I know its in a mess. But i haf got no mood to specified the whole suitation.. Too much n too much of stuff.. Its hw my heart feels warteva written on top.. Clear enuff, tat my heart is in sharp pain n messy... Go le Go le.. End here ba.. I nag finish le.. thou wun feel ani better.. but just needa nag it all out..